The Game: Stiffs.com
This is not our game - it's just our favorite and the best one out there.
Videos
Blog
We have discovered that blogging is a lot of work. I mean, you actually have to write sh*t down and stuff. So we don't do it a lot. But every now and then something really pisses us off and we spout off about it here.
Lyrics
Keep on Whining and Complaining
Dedicated to that douche bag Neil Young
Verse One
I’m whining on the street /But I don’t have a clue
I don’t know what I’m saying / And neither do you
Here’s a warning sign that I’m going to spout off
I hope you don’t mind that my brain’s a little soft
Don’t feel like thinkin’ and I’m probably wrong
So I’ll just make it up as I go along…
CHORUS
Keep on whining and complaining!
Keep on whining and complaining!
Keep on whining and complaining!
Keep on whining and complaining!
(Spoken) And don’t watch TV – cuz the media is evil
Verse Two
I see a man on the news / Don’t understand what he said
The issues are too complicated / To make sense in my head
So I’ll just stand here and I’ll point my finger
Everyone listen to the uneducated singer
Here’s one more issue over which we can bicker
I read it yesterday on a bumper sticker
(Repeat Chorus)
(Spoken) And don’t drive a car – cuz cars are bad
Verse Three
We got a million points of view / On a thousand concerns
And that’s way too many / For me to bother to learn
So I’ll tell you “War is Bad” and I’ll give you all the reasons
Then I’ll sing another song and pretend I’m a genius
“People Shouldn’t Pollute,” hey, I’m really gettin’ going!
If I ramble long enough I might come up with another slogan!
(Repeat Chorus)
(Spoken) And don’t drill for oil – anywhere…
Verse Four
The radio is corrupt / I think they own too many stations
And there’s nothing quite as evil / As a corporation
But how many records did I sell today?
And how many paid to come and hear me play?
I gotta million billion dollars and I think I know why
Hypocrisy sells so I think that I’ll…
(Repeat Chorus)
(Spoken) And…don’t hit..baby seals.. or run with scissors… or stay out late… or anything like that
Back Where You Came From
From Necrology
See the video here
(Spoken brightly…)
Hello everybody! How are you doing?
My name is Deathpool Dave
And I’m going to sing a song for you!
I hope that you like it, and that you listen real close
And if you’re not careful
A little message just might creep through!
You know, I look forward to the day when there are no flags
And no borders, and no countries,
And we can all live together in peace and love and harmony
But until then…
(Sung)
Verse One
Oh we the fine people of these United States
Bound by our ethics that make us so great
Feel the situation has gotten a bit out of hand
In an effort to address this, please let me state
And this is only a preface; I’m not irate
But there’s a few things that I think you will need to understand
Verse Two
Well hello my new friend! Welcome to our nation!
I request your attention and full concentration
I have some advice that just might be handy for you
You’ll need it to get by here, and to adjust to our way
So please don’t you cry dear, or voice your dismay
Just shut up your yap, this message is a bit over due
Chorus One
We don’t want to hear your funky sounding language
We speak English here, it would be nice if you’d join us
You don’t have the right to always be happy
Sometimes you may feel all sicky and crappy
And it’s nobody’s fault, or problem, or concern
And I hope you take notes, and you listen and you learn
And if you don’t like it here just go back
To where you came from again
(Spoken) Yeah! You know the place! The one that you came from!
Verse Three
You can partake in our wealth and our riches
But keep to yourself your whining and bitches
The world is full of A – HOLES
But they have the right to speak just like you
You don’t have the right to not be offended
Our land contains freedoms, we think they’re quite splendid
And one of the most precious is the right to make fun of you
Chorus Two
Cuz you look kind of funny, and that makes us laugh
And if you can’t handle that, kiss our American ass
Many people have died to defend the way of life here
So if you don’t like it, just eff off and die dear
And hop on a plane, go pick up your goat
Grab a fast moving train or a slow moving boat
Pick up your turban, your sandals and coat and go back
To where you came from again
(Spoken) Yeah! It’s probably much nicer there anyway!
Verse Four
You can go to our schools and become educated
Or lay around idle like a dumb couch potato
But its nobody’s job to buy you a big screen TV
And you don’t have the right to free food and free housing
Or to have some pay for your foolish carousing
A better way of life for you is not guaranteed
Chorus Three
You say that we suck, and you don’t like it here
Well buddy who the hell invited you near?
Put the scarf on your head, or the dot on your face
Wrap yourself in a berka from your faraway place
Take my advice, and please don’t forget it
Drop down to your knees, suck my radio edit
We don’t take returns or give adjustments for credit
Just go back to where you came from again
(Spoken) Yeah! There’s probably people there that miss you!
Verse Five
So if into your eyes you stick a screwdriver
Hey buddy I guess, you should have aimed wiser!
It’s your own goddamn fault, not KMarts or Targets or Sears
You don’t have a right to any life of leisure
Or medical care if you’re having a seizure
You must earn them through work, you must toil
And you must persevere
Chorus Four
We have a God given right to not believe in your religion
Not even a little, not even a smidgen!
We got our own culture, our way of doin’ things
We’re sick of your whining, complaining and ruining
Don’t care if you’re Muslim, or Buddist or pagen
Just shut the hell up and stop your damn ragging!
Quit burning our churches, take my advice friend
And go back to where you came from again
Where you came from again, just go back
To where you came from again, just go back
To where you came from again…
Outro Refrain
And get off your ass and get a damn job
I don’t care if your name’s Achmed or Yehsus or Bob
And if you can’t process that, here’s my suggestion
Go back to where you and yours came from again
In God We Trust, means a lot to us
Even if we’re atheist, agnostic or Jewish
It’s the spirit of the thing and we hope you understand
But if you don’t that’s fine – just go back
To where you came from again…
(Spoken) Maybe they’ll be nicer to you there!
American Soldier ©
From Necrology
1775 – 1783: Revolution
In the snow of Valley Forge, fighting King George
I held my ground, nearly frozen
No shoes on my feet but I wouldn’t be beat
Bleeding, but I never wavered
Held my rifle to my eye told my momma goodbye
And I went down in history’s pages
I left my family poor and I orphaned my boys
For a new thing that we had called freedom
A birthright bestowed and a debt became owed
It was something that we would provide for
And I look to you all to honor my soul
And I remind you it’s something that I died for
1860 – 1865: Search for a Soul
And when it was said that a man should be bred
To serve other souls bound in slavery
I died again with 600,000 men
Because we could see it was evil
And I smiled as I died and I took it in stride
It was the duty of a good decent people
In Shiloh I fought and in Gettysburg I caught
A bellyful of cannonball metal
A Confederate gun made an orphan of my son
But I died for what I believed in
And I look to you all to honor my soul
And I wonder if you could conceive of it
1914 – 1918: End of Isolation
In the trenches and the gas, the artillery blasts
Fighting because I was called on
I trudged thru the mud thru the guts and the blood
Never questioning my obligations
The first to fight commies sent them dead to their mommies
At the request of my beloved nation
A treaty in Versailles and our heads were held high
Victorious in our endeavors
But I wasn’t there; for my body wasn’t spared
Not enough left of it even to grieve for
And I look to you all to honor my soul
And I wonder if you should believe more
1941 – 1945: Battle Against Evil
In 1941, I picked up a gun
A new evil had arisen
An old kind of fight against a new kind of Reich
But it was nothing that we hadn’t seen before
My plane was shot down and I burned on the ground
But at least it was known as the good war
Most of Europe was theirs seemed we didn’t have a prayer
But we fought on with valor uncommon
We set the camps free from their human debris
Our own answer to their final solution
And I look to you all to honor my soul
And I wonder if you got the spine to do it
1959 – 1975: Ascent of Arrogance
You called me baby killer, a heartless blood spiller
But I never held it against you
I fought my foe bravely and no one could save me
‘Cuz that’s what you do when you’re a soldier
I loved you completely I gave my life freely
And I never did get any older
In Khe Sanh I fought and a bullet that I caught
Left me stranded in a broken down wheelchair
I had watched my friends die, smelled their burning bodies fry
And I came home only to be spat on
I had done what I was told and my soul had been sold
I wonder if that’s something you could fathom
2003 – Present: Still Searching…
In the desolate sand of a foreign desert land
Explosives strapped to suicide bombers
I kept my cool my momma didn’t raise no fools
And I did my job with calm calculation
I remembered Little League through my battle fatigue
A way of life was my foremost inspiration
In Basra I cried in Falluja I died
My friends carried my bloodied lifeless body
My gun and my boots and their final salutes
I wonder who is going to tell my mother
And I look to you now to honor my soul
But you stand fighting against one another
Reflection
I don’t serve any man, any policy or plan
And I’m not looking for nothin’ from no one
I defend our way of life with a gun or knife
Or with my bare hands ‘til I’m the winner
I love you without condition and I don’t seek recognition
But these words I beg you to consider
You stand off to the side spewing your venom and your snide
But then you don’t vote because it is raining
Your kids graduate from school with no more sense than a fool
They can’t read the Constitution that I died for
And I look to you all to honor my soul
And I’m thinking that you could have tried a little more
I’m an American soldier, are you worthy of me?
Or are you just an idle protester?
Freedom isn’t free, and do you really deserve me?
When mostly you can’t even be bothered
So I look to you all to honor my soul
And I pray that it isn’t beyond you…
Kill Fred Phelps
From the upcoming record Deuce
Verse One
Listened to the radio / Saw it on TV
Can’t believe what I just heard / Have my eyes been deceived?
Said that someone’s happy / When soldiers come home dead
And they said that someone / Goes by the name of Fred
They said his name was Fred
Yeah Fred!
Verse Two
Said that he’s a preacher / From somewhere down south
But nothing more than hatred / Spews forth from his mouth
Now I know, and you know too / There’s a law in this land
But we could make an exception / Let’s go kill this man
Chorus
Let’s kill Fred Phelps!
Let’s kill Fred Phelps!
Kill him!
Let’s kill Fred Phelps!
Verse Three
Says he is a Baptist / But I think he lies
Don’t look much like religion / That lives behind those eyes
Said that Jesus spoke to him / And told him what to do
Well I may not know Jesus well / But I sure can spot a fool
Chorus
Let’s kill Fred Phelps!
Let’s kill Fred Phelps!
Kill him!
Let’s kill Fred Phelps!
Verse Four
He used to be lawyer / But he got disbarred
And if Jesus ever spoke to him he’d say “Hey – retard!”
“Don’t use my name don’t play that game – you don’t speak for me!”
“And if you do there’s one goddamned thing that I can guarantee”
Chorus
I’ll kill Fred Phelps!
I’ll send you straight to hell!
Cuz I’m Jesus
And I can do that
Verse Five
Then walking down the road one day / Heard a voice in my ear
I know it’s strange; I’m not deranged / The voice was crystal clear
Jesus came and spoke to me / And this is what he said:
“Hey – Deathpool – make that f*cker dead!”
Chorus
Go kill Fred Phelps!
Go kill Fred Phelps!
Kill him!
Go kill Fred Phelps!
Verse Six
It’ll be okay I heard him say / I’ll give you a sign
Then the clouds all parted / And the sun began to shine
Jesus had done spoke to me / In fact I heard him shout… he said:
“Hey – Deathpool – take that f*cker out!”
Chorus
Go kill Fred Phelps!
Go kill Fred Phelps! Kill him!
Go kill Fred Phelps!
<